


freeze this moment a little bit longer

by klainelynch



Series: time stand still [1]
Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra, Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Angst, Drabble, Drabble Collection, Fire Nation Royal Family, Gen, Implied Suicidal thougths, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Iroh (Avatar) is a Good Uncle, Missing Scene, Ozai (Avatar) is an Asshole, POV Iroh (Avatar), Post-Canon, Pre-Canon, Zuko’s Scar, and the way he loves Zuko unconditionally just gets me every time, their relationship is everything, y’all Iroh always has been and always will be my favorite
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-07-17
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:21:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25315975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/klainelynch/pseuds/klainelynch
Summary: 25 drabbles throughout Iroh's lifeCrisisLater, Iroh couldn’t say how he entered the Spirit World. He’d always felt a connection to the realm beyond the material plane, but grief clouded his journey. He was justthere, and the spirit in his path was telling him no.“The one whom you seek is not here,” she said. “Human souls do not reside in our lands.”That was it, then. There was no point in continuing.As if she heard his despair, she continued. “This crisis will compel you to make a great change in your life. Do not waste the opportunity you have been handed.”
Relationships: Iroh & Zuko (Avatar)
Series: time stand still [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1833697
Comments: 11
Kudos: 61





	freeze this moment a little bit longer

**Author's Note:**

> 25 drabbles from moments throughout Iroh’s life. Each drabble, including the title, is exactly 100 words.

**Competition**

Ozai rarely beat him in Pai Sho, but it was about to happen today. His brother knew it, and the smirk taunted him more than his words. 

_Think, think. Ozai always takes an aggressive route, so that would leave him vulnerable— where?_

Iroh tried to shut out Ozai’s continued jeers, and that’s when his eyes landed on the weakness he needed.

Whack!

As soon as Iroh made his winning move, Ozai destroyed the evidence. His face twisted in fury; his palms continued to blaze as he stormed away. It seemed Ozai’s temper tantrums were not going away with age.

* * *

**Destiny**

Fire burned everywhere that he could see. The red danced with the orange, and the yellow caressed the perimeter until everything was bright and beautiful. The entire city, once so strong, crumbled under a green new growth.

Later, the Fire Sages would assure him that the green growth represented the Fire Nation as they spread their prosperity across the entire world, and Iroh saw that they were right. _Red_ bathed everything, and _red_ was beautiful. He would lead his father’s armies to victory.

Destiny had chosen him to take Ba Sing Se, and destiny would not abandon him now.

* * *

**Crisis**

Later, Iroh couldn’t say how he entered the Spirit World. He’d always felt a connection to the realm beyond the material plane, but grief clouded his journey. He was just _there_ , and the spirit in his path was telling him no.

“The one whom you seek is not here,” she said. “Human souls do not reside in our lands.”

_That was it, then. There was no point in continuing._

As if she heard his despair, she continued. “This crisis will compel you to make a great change in your life. Do not waste the opportunity you have been handed.”

* * *

**Contrition**

Iroh tried not to live in the past. He had journeyed to the Spirit World to find healing regarding his son, but he ended up finding healing about himself. He worked to concern himself with only the things that he could control; when he returned to the palace, he learned how to truly live in the present moment, and that suited him much better.

Then Iroh allowed Zuko to accompany him in a war meeting, and it was a long time before he didn’t begin each day wondering if every last bit of his nephew’s suffering was his fault.

* * *

**Age**

“You can’t do this, Ozai!” Iroh roared. He hadn’t planned on confronting the Fire Lord like this, but Ozai’s casual manner while his son writhed in pain on the other side of the palace was too much. Iroh would speak his damn piece.

His brother didn’t say much. Iroh was surprised, and hopeful— until he realized that Ozai, secure in his victory, was simply humoring him. As he led him out, Iroh tried again: “He’s too young to suffer such a cruel fate.”

Even then, he knew he was wrong; Ozai’s cruelty would have hurt Zuko at any age.

* * *

**Pain ******

********

********

Zuko had finally stopped crying, but it didn’t seem to be because he was in less pain; he’d simply drained himself, and could only wimper.

“Shhhh,” Iroh said. “You’re going to be alright, Prince Zuko.”

The doctor started applying another layer of bandages. “Of course he will. I’ve seen my share of burns, and while it will hurt for a while, he’s past the worst of it. The prince will recover just fine.”

Though Iroh trusted her medical knowledge, he still worried. How many of her words were truly her medical opinion, and how many were for Zuko’s benefit?

* * *

**Agony**

“And his bandages will need to be changed regularly,” continued the doctor. “But as I said, he’s past the worst of it. The burn will scar, but there shouldn’t be much pain from this point on.”

She bowed and left. Iroh had been lucky to pull enough strings to get a doctor who specializes in burns; she’d likely saved Zuko’s life. However, she was wrong. 

Zuko would be in agony when we woke up— not from the burn, or the exile, but from the glimpse into the fact that his father might not love or even care for him.

* * *

**Naive**

As the pair walked around the ship for the first time since Zuko woke up, Iroh saw the puzzlement on his nephew’s face, and knew that he had expected to be banished on the finest ship in the Fire Lord’s fleet. Until he did the impossible, Zuko’s home had probably been built during Fire Lord Sozin’s reign.

“Uncle,” demanded Zuko, “why didn’t Father give me a better ship? Doesn’t he know I’ll need every advantage if I’m going to capture the Avatar?”

Iroh couldn’t bear to tell his nephew the truth— Ozai didn’t expect his son to return home.

* * *

**Respect**

Zuko wouldn’t let Iroh stay in the room when he saw it for the first time. Iroh kept his ear to the door to hear what Zuko’s reaction was. He expected screaming, rage, fire— and he wouldn’t have blamed Zuko for any of it.

Minutes passed in painful silence. Iroh tapped on the door and murmured, “Prince Zuko?” A small voice said to leave him alone. He would not violate his nephew’s wish, but neither would he abandon the boy. Iroh made his way to the floor as a rush of emotion spread from his gut to his throat.

* * *

**Change**

It took Iroh two months to realize just how much the Agni Kai had changed Zuko. In those first few weeks, it was easy to make excuses for his rude outbursts. _The boy must be in so much pain_ , Iroh thought. _He’ll return to his old ways soon enough._

They docked near a colony where a local Fire Festival was taking place. Zuko didn’t want to go, so Iroh brought him back a paper dragon, just like when Zuko was younger.

“I’m not a child, you stupid man!” Zuko yelled as he snatched the toy and burnt it up.

* * *

**Love**

Contrary to popular belief, Iroh loved to drink just about any type of tea. Some days called for one over another, but why pick between two teas when you could just have both?

Still.

Every time he drank Jasmine tea, he remembered the first time Lu Ten beat him in Pai Sho, fists raised and eyes alight; every time he drank Ginseng tea, he remembered the first smile Zuko gave him in his banishment, sixty-three days of never ending and overwhelming grief broken in one small moment over tea.

So maybe there was something to popular belief after all.

* * *

**Immaturity**

Iroh would never have admitted it to Zuko, but he was disappointed that his nephew had challenged Zhao. He was still mastering his basics, after all.

 _I can’t protect you_ , he thought.

When all seemed lost, Zuko did what he always did: he found a way. And, at the critical moment, Zuko spared the loser.

As they boarded the ship, Iroh didn’t see a banished prince. He saw a heart that still had room for compassion. He saw a different kind of strength than what his nation could recognize or appreciate. He saw the future of the Fire Nation.

* * *

**Faith**

Watching Zuko lower himself into the frigid waters wasn’t the hardest thing he’d ever done. But it wasn’t easy.

Iroh didn’t know what Zuko planned on doing; his biggest fear was that _Zuko_ didn’t know what Zuko planned on doing. If only he had _insisted_ on accompanying him, then maybe he could have—

No. Iroh had felt a _pull_ all evening, and knew that he would be needed elsewhere tonight. Why, he couldn’t say. But his faith in the spirits hadn’t let him down yet, so he would trust them again, and pray they watched over his boy too.

* * *

**Kindness**

Food always tasted better when you were hungry, but Iroh knew Ji’s roast duck would have stood out at a royal feast. Truthfully, he appreciated their conversation even more— it was nice to be treated like a person after living in the shadows.

As Zuko and Song talked outside, Iroh hoped that Zuko could find some of the inner peace he felt from being on the receiving end of such genuine hospitality; Iroh knew he still had much to teach his nephew when he justified stealing their ostrich hose with “They’re about to show us a little more kindness.”

* * *

**Hope**

Iroh was twenty-seven the first time he thought about ending it all.

Even in the moment, he couldn’t say exactly why he felt that way— only there seemed to be something… missing. Like he was supposed to have something more to his being that had been stolen.

Iroh was a father who had lost the person responsible for giving him that title the next time those thoughts returned.

That one was easier to understand, but no easier to explain.

Zuko was sixteen when he told Iroh, “Then there is no hope at all,” and Iroh recognized his despair immediately.

* * *

**Acceptance**

It was a bad idea to let Zuko travel on his own. It was a worse idea to force him to stay.

Iroh just stood there for a long time before he started gathering up the supplies that had found their way to every part of this cave they had called home for the last few days. He wouldn’t leave until the next morning; Zuko couldn’t know that he was following him. Iroh hadn’t tracked someone in years, but he knew his nephew, and he knew that he could do it. 

When Zuko needed him, he would be ready.

* * *

**Surprise**

Old Ba Sing Se shouldn’t have surprised Iroh. Zuko had changed, but the pull of his father’s love was too much; Iroh was never going to be enough to keep him tethered to his new self. 

Zuko had made his choices, and Iroh was going to have to get through to him another way, or learn to live with who his nephew had become. 

The real work would be letting go of the illusion of control that he’d had these last few years with Zuko. Love could not always protect his second son, and it had dangerously blinded him.

* * *

**Silence**

After the first visit, Zuko’s words rang in his ears for hours. They hurt Iroh, not because they were true, but because Zuko thought he meant them. Iroh had known that his nephew was lost, but he hadn’t realized how terrifyingly adrift he was.

After the second visit, Iroh knew his instincts had been correct. No words, no proverbs would have gotten through to Zuko. Painful as it was for them both, Zuko needed space to see the consequences of his choice.

It broke Iroh’s heart to do this to Zuko, but silence was the only tool he had.

* * *

**War**

Maybe it was foolish to send an escaped prisoner into the nearby Fire Nation town for reconnaissance, but someone had to do it. Iroh offered the mission to Jeong Jeong, who promptly grumbled about never stepping foot in that damned territory again. That was fine. Iroh could go undercover again.

He wasn’t surprised how quickly he got the intel to eliminate this area as a possible base. He was surprised to hear a shopkeeper gossip, “How could the Prince betray his nation like that!” 

Iroh simply smiled; he knew that his nephew had finally won the war within himself.

* * *

**Relief**

When Zuko started speaking, Iroh wasn’t sure what his nephew would say. He knew what he _hoped_ he would say, but he had learned the hard way not to make assumptions where Zuko was concerned. 

“I am so, so sorry Uncle.” 

The words reached into his heart and _squeezed_. They were proof that Zuko was okay, he was here and okay, and once Iroh _understood_ that, he grabbed Zuko and put everything into this hug— every unsaid word in prison, every bit of forgiveness for this mistake, every bit of love he had for his nephew in his heart.

* * *

**Gratitude**

As they walked to breakfast, the young Water Tribe warrior pulled Iroh aside.

“I just want you to know how much Zuko helped us these last few weeks,” he said. “I honestly don’t think we would have made it without him, and I thought someone ought to tell you since he doesn’t seem like the kind of guy to brag on himself.”

"You know my nephew well.”

"And I know you're pretty much the reason why he joined us in the first place, so— thank you."

Iroh couldn’t put his emotions into words; he hoped a hug would suffice.

* * *

**Remorse**

“Uncle,” Zuko said, his voice barely audible over the coronation celebrations. “I’m sorry for how I treated you.”

Iroh smiled even as his brow furrowed. “You already apologized to me, remember? Or did that lightning cause some memory loss?” His tone was light, but Zuko continued to stare at his hands in his lap.

“I meant during my banishment. I was such a brat, and took you completely for granted, and—”

It was another testament to Zuko’s growth that he didn’t shove Iroh away, but returned Iroh’s sudden embrace just as fiercely and didn’t give a damn who noticed.

* * *

**Relationships**

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about visiting Ozai,” Zuko mumbled into his tea. They had settled into an easy silence after Aang left The Jasmine Dragon, but Iroh was surprised that Zuko spoke first. He reached across the table and gently squeezed his hand.

“There is nothing to apologize for, nephew. Your relationship with that man is your own to navigate, and you are allowed to find your own path towards healing, free from judgement.”

It was what Zuko needed to hear. Still, Iroh’s stomach twisted at the thought of his brother still hurting Zuko, even behind bars.

* * *

**Confrontation**

Iroh contemplated seeing him. He had accompanied Ursa to the prison, and could hear the vitriol from the hallway as she faced her former tormentor. His heart soared when she stood up for herself.

Walking back to the palace, Iroh wondered what _he_ would say to him. He wanted to roar, to rage, to unleash all of his pain that could be directly traced to the man he once called brother. It wouldn’t be about healing; it would be about making Ozai feel a tiny sliver of that agony.

Iroh couldn’t see him again. He just might kill him.

* * *

**Granddaughter**

Iroh didn’t cry the first time he held Izumi.

He did that later, forehead pressed to the floor in the Fire Sage’s temple, presenting his offering in thanksgiving for such an impossible blessing. How many times had Zuko looked death in the face and somehow escaped? Iroh didn’t understand people who didn’t believe in the spirits. Life was a precious miracle— one that he would not take for granted.

As he cradled Izumi, his eyes had no room for tears; they only held love.

“Hello, my little one,” he said. “You are treasured more than you can possibly imagine.”

**Author's Note:**

> This is a version of something I wrote on ffnet in 2008. At the time, I didn’t understand that a drabble is exactly 100 words. Turning those sentences into actual drabbles was a fun puzzle for me over these last couple of years, and I hope you enjoyed reading them as much as I enjoyed writing them.
> 
> If you liked even one of these drabbles, telling me which one would make my entire week <3
> 
> Some individual drabble notes:
> 
> Crisis— The spirit’s words about a crisis compelling a great change was inspired by _The Spark of Faith_ by Fr. Wojciech Giertych, in which he discusses how a crisis can create an environment where faith can grow; the sentiment seemed fitting for Iroh.
> 
> Contrition— Dedicated to my best friend Rachel, who pointed this out to me because she knew it would cause me pain.
> 
> Naive— _The Art of the Animated Series_ confirms that Ozai intentionally gave Zuko a “clunker” of a ship. You know, in case you didn’t hate him enough :)
> 
> Respect— Emotionally paired with “Disgrace” from the Zuko drabble fic, which I will post in a few days.
> 
> Change— In _The Legacy of the Fire Nation_ , seven-year-old Zuko asks Uncle for a paper dragon in the CUTEST way. Can you blame Iroh for hoping that kid is still in there?
> 
> Immaturity— Also inspired from _The Legacy of the Fire Nation._
> 
> Relief— I hope it’s clear that even though Iroh knows that Zuko “is good now,” there’s still that bit of uncertainty from Old Ba Sing Se. Obviously it disappears the moment Zuko opens his mouth, and obviously Iroh forgave Zuko, but the tension is still there.
> 
> Gratitude— I like this as a drabble, but I turned it into a larger part of a 5 + 1 fic, which I will publish as soon as I figure out the last two parts of it.
> 
> Relationships— Inspired by the end of _The Search._
> 
> Confrontation— One of my favorite parts of _Smoke and Shadow_ was the relationship between Iroh and Ursa, especially in their conversations about being a parent. I know the comics are controversial, but I love them for what they are, and would recommend this one out of the Gene Luen Yang ones ( _Imbalance_ by Faith Erin Hicks is my favorite overall).
> 
> Granddaughter— If you ever have the opportunity to hold a baby that is just a few hours old, please take that chance, because not to sound like a cheesy old white lady but that shit is breathtaking bro.
> 
> Title for this fic and the series are lyrics from Rush’s “Time Stand Still”
> 
> Find me on tumblr at [klainelynch](https://klainelynch.tumblr.com/)


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